Be grateful. That is what I am hearing from my conservative friends and I’m listening and would suggest that all my liberal, progressive and moderate friends listen as well. This is life changing information.

Liberals are ATM machines for the lazy. You have created a giant government to support your addictions. Liberals think money grows on trees but it is the tree of Corporate America and we conservatives are tired of WELFARE (big government) programs and the unemployed. Everyone could find a job if they just got off their lazy ass and looked for one. You college kids–your grandparents worked for minimum wage, so can you. Catastrophes have been happening for centuries. FEMA? That’s just another liberal handout for those who have a little water in their basement or a crack in their swimming pool. Your parents are already sucking the life out of me with their demands for Social Security and Medicare. ‘Free money?’ Where do you think that comes from? My pocket. You are taking money out of my pocket to pay for the homeless, the disabled, the unemployed, the sick who are too lazy to get a job or buy insurance. We worked hard for our money. We saved. We followed the American Dream and socked our money away for a rainy day. Some of us inherited a few bucks. Big deal. Now you want to tax it. NO WAY. That money was taxed 80 years ago when my great-grandfather earned it working like a dog building his little business. Some of us went to college and got high-paying corporate jobs while you were working in manufacturing on the assembly line earning $10 an hour. You should have asked for overtime or worked a second job. That is the American Dream. Now you want me to GIVE you my money. I will loan you some money, but I want something in return. My kids go to private school so I’m tired of paying for your kid to go to public school. Shave off a few billion from your public education ‘budget.’ No more unemployment benefits after 8 weeks. Eight weeks is enough. After two months you are simply a freeloader. I don’t care that you ‘paid’ into it. Go find a job and you won’t need it. Give me your collective bargaining agreements. No more unions. Unions promote thievery. Union workers are merely thieves with their hand in my pocket. Teachers are perfect examples. You need to provide your own pensions and save your own money. You wouldn’t know a budget if it slapped you in the face. You are spendthrifts with our money. Quit whining about long work days. It only makes you sound as lazy as you are. And stop comparing your job to the job of our CEOs. They are the brains and you are merely the replaceable parts. If you don’t believe me, look behind you. There are dozens of people waiting to do your simple mindless jobs. Big government must be destroyed.

Walk into the light of Corporate America.

I think I get it now. Be grateful for the ability to earn a living from an employer that is ‘gifting’ you a paycheck and in some cases, providing you and possibly your family, benefits such as health care and pensions. Be grateful and ‘give back’ some of that in tough times. Take that reduction in pay when the employer tells you he is struggling, pay more when those benefits are costing your employer more and above all be grateful.

I hear money is tight and this economy is tough on all of us–but we don’t need MORE government. We need less because this tough economy is super-tough on Corporate America. Simple charts showing gigantic profit increases are fabricated to make Corporate America look bad. I just need to work harder and harder. I need to let my employer have some breathing room. Those regulations are strangling my corporate employer. Clean air? Clean water? Safety rules? Just be more careful. It is costing me my job. My employer can’t stay in the U.S. with all these regulations. If something isn’t done to reverse all these regulations (like dismantling the EPA and workers’ safety rules), my employer is going to ship all the jobs, including mine, overseas. Then where will my family be? Unemployed.

And for all that is holy, do not suggest taxes. Corporate taxes destroy private jobs. And oil companies need subsidies because without them, they are simply going to take their corporate jobs overseas and again, I will be unemployed. I can pay taxes. I should pay taxes. Look at all I’m being given.
Leave Wall Street alone. Wall Street is the main artery handling our employers’ profits to support us. And we need support. Our employers can’t do it all. They are generously carrying us in these tough times and the same thing goes for the banks.

LEAVE the banks alone! The regulations are choking the life blood out of my bank. I need my bank. They give me things. Security that I have a place to put my paycheck from my employer. If I need a loan, and I can demonstrate that I have more money than the loan I’m requesting, they will loan me money. I was happy to bail out my bank and Wall Street with my taxes. It is my fault I bought a house that cost too much for me. At the time that the bank told me that I could have that mortgage, they were betting that I couldn’t pay for it. This is what makes my bank so important. They have had to lay off a lot of people because of my mortgage problems and if I had just worked harder for my employer and if I hadn’t bought that house, my employer would have made more profit and the banks would be full of cash.

Teachers, firemen, police and other local, state and federal workers are taking food off my family’s plate. They are lazy and we need to make sure that they can’t bargain for their income and benefits or my family will suffer. It isn’t me versus Corporate America. It’s me versus those lazy governmental workers. Corporate America is supplying me everything and when I’m sick and old, they are going to have some type of program that they are inventing now to help me because I won’t be able to work in my 70′s and 80′s because my body won’t work as well as it does now.

And I heard yesterday from my conservative church friends, that the church and my congregation will take care of me because that is how America works. Food banks and clothing drives is what made America great. We need to start being responsible for ourselves and our family and if we don’t have a family, we need to make sure we work hard enough that our neighbors will help us.

So I now have my walking orders. I’ve made a list to keep things organized in my head.

• We need to dismantle Social Security because Corporate America can do better.
• We need to dismantle Medicare because Corporate America can do better.
• We need to dismantle Medicaid because Corporate America can do better.
• We need deregulation of everything. Regulations strangle Corporate America.
  We need to stop paying people for being unemployed. If they lose their job, they simply need to find another.
• We need to eliminate all estate taxes especially on million/billion dollar estates. Those are our job creators.
• We need to eliminate capital gains tax. 15 percent is outrageous. Zero is perfect.
• We need to eliminate the employer’s contribution to payroll taxes. This tax costs jobs.
• We need to eliminate all income tax for those making over $250,000 a year. The middle class can take care of the taxes to keep our government running. Taxpayers in the upper brackets need their money because they are the job creators.
• We need to dismantle any health reforms and let the families, churches and neighbors take care of the sick.
• We need to have Tort Reform and eliminate a person’s right to sue their doctor. Medical malpractice suits are driving up health care even in California which has had the strictest malpractice reforms since 1975 (MICRA).
• No one should be allowed to join a Union. Corporate America will take care of us and knows what we need. We don’t need collective bargaining.
• We need to set up free health clinics funded by the middle class and other charitable people volunteering their time. Health insurance companies need to be allowed to raise premiums as needed.
• Oil companies need subsidies so they stay in America.
• Agriculture subsidies are the backbone of our farming industry. We need to leave these subsidies in place.
• We need to drill in America without any silly regulations preventing the oil companies from drilling anywhere offshore or anywhere they think oil might be found in the United States. We need to be independent of foreign oil.
• We need to dismantle the EPA and other regulatory agencies that are weakening Corporate America and preventing them from hiring U.S. workers. The EPA is a job-killer and will force Corporate America to send our jobs overseas.
• We need smaller government and government should stay out of our lives except when dealing with a woman’s reproductive system and then they should spend as much time in her uterus as they can; And they should also regulate all marriages between two humans because that is why the government was created in the first place.
• To make sure all of the conservative leaders who will keep Corporate America happy are elected, we need to make sure that the elderly, young, disabled and minorities can not vote because they tend to be stupid and vote for liberals. Therefore we need to change voting procedures to disenfranchise these voters. Jim Crow laws worked in the late 1800′s until that disgusting Civil Rights Act of 1965, so Corporate America would ‘suggest’ (and it is only a suggestion but it sure would make them happy and a happy Corporate America is a happy conservative) that something akin to Jim Crow laws be reenacted in the immediate future and certainly before the 2012 2016 election cycle.

Corporations are people. Good people who take care of their own.

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Note from the author:  While this was published originally by The Pragmatic Progressive, Addicting Information and reposted in Newvine in 2011, nothing but the year of the upcoming election was in need of updating…sadly.